EP5 – Finding Our Ideal Home and How To Embrace Change with a String
Join me and my adventurous kitty, Bonnie Blue, as we wander down our path and unpack the story behind our move from California to Arkansas and to finding our dream home.
Learn about my professional path as a strategic interventionist, naturopath, and herbalist, and how empowering others lies at the heart of my mission. Get inspired by the “string metaphor exercise,” a simple yet profound technique to strengthen positive habits and discard negative ones.
This episode invites you to reflect on your own path and perhaps embrace the change you’ve been seeking.
Want to reach out? Have any questions? Shoot me an email here: contact@shariseparviz.com
Transcript
Sharise Parviz: 0:01
Hey, all right, here we are on a morning walk and the birds are singing. Listen to that. I hope you can hear that. Yeah, the birds are chirping away, the leaves are turning colors. Me and Bonnie Blue, my kitty we’re all going for a walk down our lane. My kitty is we’re all going for a walk down our lane and we have a beautiful.
Sharise Parviz: 0:29
I said to you, my property is a blessing and I, you know, 55 years old and I have the property of my dreams and I’m so thankful for it. It was just to me, it was a miracle that we found this, because we looked everywhere for a property and everything just wasn’t like what we wanted. You know, we wanted something. It was so funny. We wanted something that was not too far from town. Okay, so I had a lot of. I guess you could talk about manifestation. I really don’t like the term manifestation. It’s a little woo woo for me, and even though I’m an energy healing coach, I’m actually very analytical and only decided to go into energy healing when I started understanding the science behind some of these. And you know the science that’s coming out in the research. Okay, let me not go there, let’s go back to where we’re going. So, um, we came to arkansas and we thought, well, we’ll stay here for about a year, right, we hadn’t even decided if we were going to land here and stay here, but it was.
Sharise Parviz: 1:22
My husband is very much I. I mean he, you know, he’s. He’s in technology, he’s a technological architect I have no idea what that is. He does a lot of government contracts. He’s independent, but he does a lot of government contracts, and but I have no idea what it is that he does. So it’s like I know he can keep my machines running, okay, and keep my website and going and do all the things that I have no idea how to do.
Sharise Parviz: 1:46
Anyway, but we stayed out here in an apartment. Well, we stayed in a hotel for two months and then an apartment for a year and we were looking at properties and everything was like eh, eh, eh, eh, right. So I had requirements for a property I had that had to be 30 minutes from town, because, I’m sorry, you know, I grew up in the inner city, I grew up in the hood and I’m just, you know, a city girl at heart and I don’t want to be too far from my cup of coffee in the morning. So, you know, I just like going into town, I like being in the city, but so it had to be, at least you know, no more, sorry, no more than a half an hour away from town. Okay, but it had to be. It had to be rural and away from people, but yet I could still get into town and be near people when I wanted to be. But a half an hour, that’s all I wanted. Half an hour drive. I also wanted I didn’t want flatland, I wanted more, uh, topography, more more valleys and hills and things like that. Okay, that was, those are my things that I want, and and I wanted a home. That was done, which I didn’t get, but that’s okay, it’s, it’s getting done now. But, um, so those were the my requirements.
Sharise Parviz: 3:00
My husband’s requirements is that it was the property had to be off a paved road, right? I mean, we drove around some of these areas and like, oh my gosh, some of the roads were so hard to get in and out. Of. So he said, no, I want to be on a main, be off of a main paved road, okay. So we looked for a year. Well, yeah, up and down looked and again we decided. Really, we decided within a couple of months of being here.
Sharise Parviz: 3:27
We looked around, we checked it out, we were paying attention. My husband had done all the analysis. He looked at the politics, he looked at the rights, specifically First Amendment rights, second Amendment rights. He looked at all of these things and Arkansas came up pretty high on the list for what we wanted in our lives. Plus, northwest Arkansas is nice because it has a lot of business, a lot of work, and so we had hoped that, okay, if we land here and our family wants to come here, there’s work here, there’s a lot of work here and Walmart is here. There’s like five different Fortune 500 companies in Arkansas and I think like three or four of them are up here in Northwest Arkansas, which is where we are. Okay.
Sharise Parviz: 4:16
So, and you know my family, a lot of my family well, two of my kids are in California, which is ridiculous for so many different reasons. So if they ever need a place to land, they can land here, find good work and not be too expensive, be able to, you know, afford a home, which you know in California forget it, I mean, it’s so hard there at least where we were living, which is Silicon Valley and San Jose, you know anything like that. It’s just ridiculous. And I don’t know who wants to be in California anyway. I’m sorry, if you live, I mean I don’t we.
Sharise Parviz: 4:51
I spent 20 years there. I loved it when I first moved there and then it all went to pot so, and my husband was born and raised there and he just saw it you know he talks about it a lot because he saw it going from a beautiful, you know town, country, country, towns, rural area of cherry trees and orchards and all that to becoming, you know, the cement jungle of technology. So by the time we moved away, we were just ready to move away. And after the whole restrictions of Newsom and the restrictions that they put on for COVID which, quite honestly, I rolled my eyes out when I first heard about COVID, but then I’m pretty skeptical about anything the government says to us. But there it is. So but I ended up having to close down my performing arts school, you know, and then decided not to go back and that’s when we decided to move.
Sharise Parviz: 5:44
All right, so year we looked at our property and everything was kind of flat. It wasn’t that great, or is it off a main road, it was too far away. And then Michael found this property and he pulled it up on the internet and I looked and I saw I just saw the road right. Of course everything looks good on the internet because they choose the best pictures, so of course it’s going to look good. But immediately we were both like, oh my gosh, that’s it. We got to go see it. So we came and it was the road so we have I think it’s 2000,. I don’t know. I don’t know, I’m going to say 2000 feet, but I be totally wrong of a winding road. So hold up, this is what’s great.
Sharise Parviz: 6:23
It’s 30 minutes from town, literally 30 minutes from town, okay, and which is perfect, it’s off of a main county road that is very well maintained. One thing about the county we live in they maintain their roads beautifully. So right off a main road, and it is. We have three levels to our property. So we have a lower valley where we have two holding ponds, a creek, then we have the driveway, main entrance level, and then so we have this beautiful. I guess 2,000, I’m saying 2,000 feet I could be completely off of that, who knows? I’m not great at measurements, but it’s a big one. It’s a long road that winds around between, I mean surrounded by oak trees and walnut trees, and it’s this beautiful winding road and it winds up and it goes around where you have a large pond, and then it goes up again on the third level. So we have three levels to this property, where we have our home and our and I just I and then there’s a um, what’s called. We call it the donut island or the donut pond. There’s a pond that’s kind of they shaped a um, I don’t know who did this, right, right, which owner, how many owners, which owner from us did this? But they made a pond, like they built a mound, and then they carved out a pond. That’s a circular pond going around this, this hill, and this hill is attached with a gate, not a gate, a bridge. I’m telling you I was. It was just gorgeous, gorgeous.
Sharise Parviz: 8:01
Now the house I think I mentioned this early on was a complete wreck. So I didn’t get that. I mean we had dogs. I mean they, I guess they were breeding dogs. I don’t know what they were doing, they were renters and no idea. But the house, all the doors were broken, like all of them had holes and they were did cheap, cheap, cheap doors that break really easy. So they had like three kids and they had and it’s not a big house. So we’re planning to add on, but right now we just want to finish the house we have. But it’s got. It’s only three bedrooms and two or one and a half baths, so it’s not a big place. In fact, all of my stuff here, but it doesn’t matter.
Sharise Parviz: 8:40
It’s a beautiful home but it was a mess when we first moved in and it smelled like pee and I’m not sure if it was dog pee or human pee or probably a combination of both and they smoked. So there was smoke. I mean rings of smoke because they had fans on all the rooms. Rings of smoke up on the ceiling oh, you know, it was a popcorn ceiling, it was very dated. I mean, yeah, it was a mess. I mean it was a mess and I think I told you we couldn’t find workers, right, because I wanted to have a move-in ready house, but we couldn’t find the workers. We just were able to get the floor done, which was good enough because at least we got the pee smell out right. And then of course, they left and they left all their trash everywhere. So of course we had to get, you know, someone to come in and pick up all the trash and dump it anyway
Sharise Parviz: 9:39
So but all in all, all of that being said, I I can’t, I can’t tell you how thankful I am because I love it here and I have never said that about any place I’ve ever lived. I love the people here. Oh my gosh. I mean, you know my husband. He grew up so, even though he grew up in San Jose, which, during the time of him being a child, it was all farm and rule, and so he grew up, his family was farmers, so he, with his grandpa and the tractor, so he’s, you know, his family has been, you know, planting and gardening and doing all these things, you know, and knowing how to do these things, you know, since he was a child, since before he was born, and, of course, he’s got a super green thumb. I mean I can’t grow shit, but he has a super green thumb and sorry about that, I shouldn’t know anyway. Um, so he would. He and he loves to garden. I mean he and he does a beautiful job.
Sharise Parviz: 10:37
He built a beautiful, uh developed a little French garden when we were living in San Jose. It was lovely and, um, you know, just pretty. I mean nothing really functional, I mean, meaning, you know, as far as herbs and all that which we’re doing now. But pretty, it was lovely, and he loves doing it, and he wanted to farm and we thought at first we thought we were going to do wine, that’s what he wanted to do. He wanted to build a winery, but Arkansas is not a place for wine, so for grapes. So, although a funny thing it is, it was supposed to have been based on what he did, his research. And then we’re like, oh no, it really isn’t OK. So anyway, we have other plans for farming and we’re working on those plans now.
Sharise Parviz: 11:18
But now we’re working on food and which is, I think, a little more practical and necessary than wine right now. Well, that wine doesn’t necessarily not necessary, but not as important as food is, anyway, so I don’t know, yeah, so I’m just loving it. And right now I’m just taking a walk and listening to the birds and seeing all these caterpillars on the ground and all the deer, and we have little baby deer, little Bambis running around and mean it’s just, it’s just, it’s just beautiful. So anyway, I was going to share with you, uh, what’s been going on. So I have.
Sharise Parviz: 11:57
Now I started, let’s see, I think prep day was Friday, so I had two full days, saturday and Sunday, on my liquid fast, and then yesterday I did a partial liquid fast, the the gaps fast, and then had a meat stock with the meat and vegetables in the evening and woke up this morning and I have lost a total of five pounds now in three days. Now, some of that’s water weight, right, I mean. A lot of times when you know people, oh, it’s so exciting and it is because you’re getting rid of inflammation, you’re getting rid of a lot of the excess water and all of that. But usually the first, if you lose a lot of weight right away, it’s really mainly water weight to begin with. So but that’s great because I do feel good. I feel lighter again, my tummy is, oh, almost back to where it was normally, which is flat, and I can actually start to see some of my muscles again. So I’m pretty pleased with that and my energy level is super, and so I thought what I would do today is share with you an exercise that I did for myself. This is like one of my strategies.
Sharise Parviz: 13:01
So I’m a strategic interventionist and I don’t know if you know anything about me probably not yet, I don’t know. You could go to my website and learn. But, um, I’ve trained. I’m a traditional naturopath, I am a life and relationship and energy healing coach. I do sound healing, I do breath work Um, I do, oh my goodness. I trained under, uh, dr Chloe Madonis and Tony Robbins and actually trained and became a coach, a certified coach, under the RMT Robbins, madonis and Tony Robbins, and actually trained and became a coach, a certified coach, under the RMT Robbins Madonis Training Academy. So you know I. And then I’ve trained under the new biology clinic with Dr Tom Cowan and so I have a wide, I wear a lot of hats and I was just talking to my husband and Dan.
Sharise Parviz: 13:44
I said, you know I, because I’m passionate about so many things. I love learning. Learning is a passion of mine, but learning just for learning sake is is okay, but learning so you can help others is the bomb. Okay, that is what I live for. But I have a passion. I love learning new things. So I also am a clinical herbalist because I thought, well, I should learn how to do herbal medicines right, because if we don’t do regular drugs, we don’t do that. Once I got my husband off the medication that was destroying his liver. I said we’re done. I said, okay, what now? So I decided I was going to either learn homeopathy or herbalism, and I love both.
Sharise Parviz: 14:25
But with all the struggle that’s going on with homeopathy, my concern is well, the FDA has its way, fda has its way. There won’t be any homeopathy. And even though I’m, you know, petitioning along and trying to help support, you know, keeping homeopathy available, you know the government’s going to do what the government’s going to do, you know, until the people say no more. I don’t know that we’ve gotten there yet, but I’m hoping we’re getting close. But I don’t mean violence or anything, but I mean it’s time to just maybe stop being so passive and start speaking out more, and we are, but I think we’re going to be forced to have to do so a little bit more. Again, I’m not talking violence. I’m just talking about getting out there, being unafraid to say what you need to say and choose to live your life the way you’re meant to live, which is free.
Sharise Parviz: 15:25
So I decide well, if they take the homeopathy away, what can’t they take away? They can’t take my dandelion, they really can’t. If they take my dandelion away, well then it’s done If my dandelion won’t grow anymore. Well then, we’re done right. So they can’t take my weeds, so I’m going to learn how to use them. So I decided to go into herbalism, become a clinical herbalist, anyway.
Sharise Parviz: 15:56
So, as a life coach, which is I’m going to share with you, right now, there’s a tool that I use with my clients or in workshops, or and and even for myself, right, everything that I do, everything that I teach, everything that I may, you know, um, offer someone to look into that they might find for themselves I’ve tried myself. I do not recommend or anything that I have not firsthand experience. Or, if I don’t have it, I know enough people who have firsthand experience, people that I trust, to try it. Now, why would I not try everything? Well, I don’t have. There’s a lot of conditions that I don’t have. For instance, you know, it’s like a doctor if they don’t have any experience with cancer, they’re not just going to try chemotherapy, right? Not that anybody should do chemotherapy anyway, but that’s not the point. The point is there are things that I haven’t tried for myself because they’re not something that I need right. So, but I will talk to other practitioners or talked who said, yes, I have those kind of clients, and this is what we did. I did a work, yes, ok. Well, what are the? You know how many worked, or whatever we talk about stats or or what have you, and clinical studies and so forth and so on. So, if I so, either I will do it myself or I know people who have done it and have had success with it either way. So one of the tools I thought I’d share with you is called the string metaphor.
Sharise Parviz: 17:18
Now, metaphors are used a lot in the kind of coaching I do. And what are metaphors? Well, metaphors probably learn, remember, in school, you know grade school are symbols, you know they symbolize something right. And a lot of times we use metaphors in our speech because sometimes it’s just easier, sometimes it’s hard to put into words what we’re feeling, what we’re thinking, and so sometimes we just use a metaphor to symbolize. Like you know, I ran up against a brick wall, right. Or, excuse me, you know, I feel like I have so many hurdles to jump over, right. Or, oh, that went so well, it was smooth as ice. So those are metaphors that help to reflect what we’re feeling, what we’re thinking, without us having to necessarily find the words to express it, and metaphors are very important because they’re a visual right.
Sharise Parviz: 18:22
Not necessarily a visual like an image, it can be, but it could be a visual like a tactile, a real object right that can remind us of something and you don’t have to think of the words, because the object themselves will speak it to you. Let me give an example. So this string metaphor to you? Let me give an example. So this string metaphor is you take a string, I don’t know, maybe about a foot long, maybe Again, I don’t know measurements very well but long enough that you could tie around your wrist. How about that? And just a string, and that string could be a metaphor for anything you want. It could be the metaphor of you tying yourself to an outcome, a success, a goal that you have, and that string symbolizes that you tying yourself to that outcome. Okay, so it can mean that, and it could be any outcome you want. You decide what that, what that is for you. It could also mean, because we’re going to tie the string around our wrist, so you can also use it as a cutting ties from something. So, instead of being tying you to something, to a goal, an outcome, whatever it is, relationships, career, health, wellness, whatever right, emotional, you know, resources, how you want to feel, emotionally, mentally, anything. You have a goal and that string around your wrist you’re going to is going to symbolize you tying yourself, committing yourself to that goal. Or you can take some scissors and you can cut that string once it’s tied to your wrist, and that would symbolize you cutting the ties away from something, maybe something that’s been holding you back, maybe it’s thinking right Beliefs, old beliefs that just don’t serve you anymore.
Sharise Parviz: 20:26
Old thinking that you’re like you know what. I used to think that, but why do I think that now? Or is that even my thought? Where did that thought originate? Did that originate with me, or did it originate with my parents? Or did it originate from society? Or did it originate with my parents? Or did it originate from society?
Sharise Parviz: 20:44
You know a lot of age, for instance. Oh, when you turn a certain age, it’s all downhill from there, right? Okay, there’s a metaphor, right, it’s all falls apart from there. Well, does it, and we believe that, but does it have to? Can you can? Is there another truth? Have have there been people who have lived long, long beautiful lives and, as they grew older, didn’t get old? They just they just got older, but without getting old. Is there examples of that? Sure, there are. I could tell you one of my, my grandmother-in-law. She died at 102, and she chose when to die. She literally was like I’m done I can go into that later but she lived a full, independent life up to 102, almost 103. So where did that belief stem from? It’s not an original thought.
Sharise Parviz: 21:34
So again, take a string, decide if it’s going to be a string that ties you to an outcome, to a goal, to an intention, to something you want in any area of your life, or decide that that string is going to symbolize cutting ties from something, from beliefs, from habits, from whether maybe it’s smoking, maybe it’s overeating, maybe it’s whatever it is.
Sharise Parviz: 22:01
You make the choice. Take that string Once you’ve decided what it’s going to represent to you. Tie it around your wrist. If you decide that that string is going to represent you tying yourself to something, leave it on your wrist and look at it every day, and that is your reminder, that’s your symbol that says remember what you’re tying yourself to. Is what you’re doing today Going to bring you closer to that goal, the outcome, that intention that you have that the string represents?
Sharise Parviz: 22:34
Okay, now, if you’ve chosen that the string is going to be a symbol of you cutting away from something. Take your scissors and cut away. Keep the string. Maybe keep it somewhere where you can see it. You might even keep it in your pocket, it doesn’t matter. Wherever you think you might need it to remind yourself.
Sharise Parviz: 22:53
Oh no, when you start to maybe move into a habit you want to get rid of. Again, I don’t know what you chose, but let’s just say it was a habit of smoking or eating something you shouldn’t eat, or whatever, right. Or maybe it’s a thought that I’m too old for this, or I’ll never do this, or I’m not good enough, or I’m not worthy, whatever. Whatever you decided, that you want to cut away from that string is a reminder. Uh-uh, you cut yourself away from that that is no longer attached to you. So that’s called the string metaphor exercise. Try it for yourself if you’d like.
Sharise Parviz: 23:31
I would love to hear what you decided to use your string metaphor for either tying yourself to something or cutting away, cutting ties from something. So let me know, go ahead, and you know you can message me on my website and find me on Twitter. If you can’t find me on Twitter, I shouldn’t say Twitter anymore. Right, go to my website and then click on the it’s still the Twitter symbol right up on the upper left-hand corner of my website and hopefully, then I will be getting these out on Spotify and YouTube and all the social media, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah things and then you can chat with me there, all right, and actually I’ll get these out on X too, and you can comment there too, all right. Hey, have a great day, um, and do your stream metaphor. All right, be blessed, bye-bye.